The blood is everywhere in here.

I'm going to blog but I don't feel like it. I've been trying to wait until I can "say something nice or say nothing at all", but that may take me a while. There's been a raging Battle Royale at our house for the past three days. I really don't know how to pick my battles. I don't know what to let slide and what to shake 'til it's dead. I also tend to be a bully. When Austen does something, or several somethings that are way out of line, then I start looking for things on which to nail her. One of the rules in our house that's been, admittedly, loosely applied, is that I really do not want the children in our room without permission. As a child, Austen was a snoop (I think that's the nature of girls, so this is not a criticisn), and now that the children are older, I want them to have permission because Jack is only 4, and I don't want him in our room because he's been known to carry things off. I can honestly say that the snooping won't net our daughter anything (there are no "naughty toys" or adult films hidden away...my husband may be embarrassed that I admitted that we don't have anthing, but he never looks on here!). The worst thing that ever happened to her as a result of snooping is that once she came to us crying hysterically because, while snooping, she'd found her baby teeth in a prescription bottle in my nightstand and she was terrified the tooth fairy wasn't real. David thought quickly on his feet and told her that the t.f. was too small to carry the teeth, so after she laid the $$ under the pillow, we would come in and gather the teeth to keep. That seemed to work...but I digress. I do not want her to snoop because I just don't want her in my stuff, plain and simple.
Last night, I came home from Jack's little church group clear across town. Though there had been unauthorized t.v. watching in my room, AND unauthorized use of my computer (I know because Austen had left the mouse plugged in), she had not finished the fundraising flyers that she was doing as one of her community service projects for service hours toward graduation. Showers had just been taken, and there was wet hair needing to be dried. Generally speaking, chores that have been discussed ad nauseum (like wringing out washcloths to dry properly after a shower), in addition to the things already mentioned really got me fired up. As I was discussing this with my dd, she very subtly attempted to shut her bathroom door (by snaking her leg behind it to shut it), while I'm standing in the doorway. She added a flip, "I have to dry my hair now", under her breath barely audible. I was floored. I do not know how to stop the utter disrespect and lack of obedience coming from her. She actually, a bit later, attempted to shut me out AGAIN, and this time, her brother saw it happen and said, "Whoa!" This morning when she asked me if she could make herself a cup of hot tea, I told her no. I don't care, really, but it's just the idea that she'll still ask me for things even though she treats me ugly.
Another rule I have is I do NOT WANT TO SEE PHONES IN MY CAR UNLESS THEY'RE MINE! I know the phones exist, I just don't want to see them or hear the incessant flipping closed sound. I feel this way because the car is one place where we can talk about whatever...the day, a test, teenagers kissing in the hallway at school, you name it. I think it's very disrespectful to be half listening and half trying to txt a friend and hoping I don't notice. So, the rule is just wait until we get home to text/call friends. Both the older ones break this rule DAILY, and the phones are in my purse before we get home. I said that not responding immediately to a text makes them look busy and active. Besides, they neither one respond to me with that kind of gusto! I've seen teenagers (one in particular) just speak attrociously to her mother who is a very educated, with it woman, who wouldn't ordinarily put up with much mouth. For some reason though, this child got away with it. She's now about to graduate college and is, for the most part, lovely. This mother chose her battles, evidently, correctly. I could easily see, though, how this situation could have gone wildly wrong. To me, that was a situation that should've been nipped, even if the child turned out great in the end. This is the kind of thing that I just don't know how to handle. I only wish I'd had the childgood of example to see how to choose properly. I feel like I've been put into a surgery with no medical school training. Parenting is hard for everyone, but I think it's extra hard for those who grew up with no guidance or active parent in their lives. **The title of this post is partly because of the battles being fought under our rood, but also because my little one has had several nosebleeds today and he bleeds VERY quickly and it gets everywhere. I think it's because of the rather dramatic weather change from yesterday to today (nearly a 30 degree difference for a high temp) and that may have started off this bleeding.